I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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