i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
he quoted the bible to break up with me
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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