I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
She even gives head with a lisp.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
