What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
