you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
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