She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize