nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
