In the future we'll all be gay
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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