Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
