Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
