i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
