I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
