ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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