I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
