Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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