I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
