The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Randomize
