girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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