butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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