just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
