SEEEEXXX PLEASE
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
