I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
All the doctor said was why
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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