Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
