So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
