What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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