Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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