Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
