its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
