Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Your penis caused this!
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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