oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Randomize
