Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize