Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
