My nipple is on Facebook.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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