He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize