just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I could have mohawked her pubes.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
