it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
he thought i was a dude.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
