My balls are so social today.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
