I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
