Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
