if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
