if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Randomize
