dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Randomize
