This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
