Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Randomize
