How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
