I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
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