i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Randomize
