gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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