I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
