oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize