I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
This is the high leading the old right now
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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