Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Randomize
