I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
No subtext here. People are naked.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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