Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
