You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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