babies were throwing up all over the place
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
