and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
