Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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