i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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