You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
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