Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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