apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
this is an emotional support booty call
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
