and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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