bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
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